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02 January 2012 @ 01:32 am
First of all--wow, 10 years on LJ at the end of this month. Holy shit. Makes me feel both OG and just old at the same time. ;)

Secondly--I want to keep myself somewhat accountable for my resolutions and I figured that writing them on here would be a good start.

1. Take 1 picture a day for the whole year with my phone. Capturing a moment from each day sounds fun, and I've seen others do this and not finish... so I want to. :P

2. Have a beach body by the wedding (September).

That's all I can think of for now, I'll write more when I come up with more?

Also, re-reading through One Piece since I've forgotten what's happened for a lot of it... I finished the Alligator arc probably... 2 years ago? And I want to ACTUALLY catch up but can't remember a lot. Damn, this manga is epic.

Happy 2012 for anyone else that still reads this. :3
09 July 2011 @ 04:55 pm
Started feeling extremely light-headed during a cardio workout today... first one in a hella long time. Yes, it only took me a month and a half after moving here to shame myself into working out! /sarcasm

I put 2 pictures of myself in a bikini (from our family trip to the PI in February) for 2 reasons: 1. I don't look bad in a bikini at all, there is hope! 2. I don't look the way I want to in a bikini, so I really need to get off my ass and work out. We'll see if it continues to work or not. I really, really hope so. Walking around LA doesn't necessarily make me feel like a heifer, but I definitely feel less thin than I did in Denver...

I told myself on Tuesday that I would stick to a regimen for every day that I am unemployed/'fun'employed so as to maximize my time being productive:

* one Mandarin unit a day
* 2 scrapbook pages a day (since my mom wants it back by the time she flies in 7/20)
* one hour of piano practice a day
* 30+ minutes of working out a day

It only took until... today to start following it, yayyyy =_=; But better late than never! And I'm much better at jump-starting myself than I used to be. I just have to make it all a habit and it'll be alllll gooooood.
08 July 2011 @ 02:53 am
I'm so glad we're married/getting married/well, you get the idea. I will always wish we had more time than we ever get together, but that's how it goes when you're in love with someone. So refreshing to be so besotted with someone for five years and going! And going and going and going and going...

I'm so glad it's you! ♥
24 June 2011 @ 08:41 am
Yesterday it hit me that my family, my friends and the life I've built over the past 12 years are in a completely different state, and the honeymoon period with being in Los Angeles has worn off.

It's tough, and I found myself struggling with the emotions that come with recognizing these facts. And this is just the way it's going to be from now on--things don't stay static, and I would never wish that upon my friends. They'll move on to have experiences without me around, their own inside jokes, their own bonding times together. I would never be selfish enough to wish otherwise, but I guess I thought that being a military brat would prepare me for these kinds of feelings after moving away. Guess not.

You could also say that I will simultaneously be experiencing new things here as well, that my friends will always be there for me regardless of distance... all of that jumble. I recognize that this is true as well. I guess that it'll just take time for my heart to catch up to my brain.

Not having James around is tough, too--he just started his surgical internship this morning (he left at 4am!) and I woke up to wish him luck. I'm going to try my hardest to not be such a baby about these things around him because he has more things to be worried about that me. He was so anxious about his first day last night that he couldn't get to bed until close to midnight :( So I'll work hard to be the support he needs throughout his first year as a resident, and be strong >_<;;;

I just want to find my own niche here, feel like I'm not just getting swallowed up by this sprawling city and actually put roots down, somewhere... and in the midst of my melancholy and missing my life in Denver, find a new love for where I'm at and the situation I'm in.

Oh, and a job. A job would be great.
feeling: tiredtired
21 March 2011 @ 06:41 pm
So, I don't know who checks this anymore but I figured I'd just leave an update for kicks.

1) James asked me to marry him on March 16, 2011 and I said--well, obviously, YES! ♥ We're going to have a civil ceremony in May, before we...

2) ...move out to Los Angeles because he matched at UCLA on March 17, 2011!!! So yes, after years of waiting and wanting to live out there, I finally get my wish. It feels a million times sweeter to be moving out there under the right circumstances and with the person I love. :)

And that's about it... I want to post more, but I'm sleepy... :P
feeling: gratefuloverjoyed!
28 February 2011 @ 01:05 pm
I've been a mopey, unpleasant and selfish piece of shit, and I need to get over my immature self and deal.

First off, ever since I've gotten back from the Philippines I've been kind of unhappy... because being over there with my family made me realize how we're all over the globe now. But that's just life. If I constantly mope about it, I'll just end up being less satisfied with my situation now.

Secondly, my money situation is pretty fucking tight. I'm not fighting to make ends meet, but I don't really have the money to go out and indulge in what I want. It's making me miserable, but why? I still have a roof over my head and a full-time job. Sure, it's not the job I want or the career I'm eventually heading toward, but I'm probably moving in a few months, so there's no point in sweating it.

Lastly, I keep angsting about dealing with James' family, loudly complaining about it. Which is ridiculous, because I always told myself I would be the one to stand beside him and support him when the rest of his family took him for granted. He's trying his best to make me happy despite the situation he's found himself in, and I get mad at him for not trying more? God, I'm ridiculous.

So. With March comes Spring (well, more or less for Colorado anyway haha), and with spring comes new beginnings. I'm going to try as hard as I can to drop all of these negative feelings, this inertia, and move on to being more positive and optimistic.


In other news, my place is a fucking mess and needs to be cleaned. James won't be back from his stupid, pointless & needlessly long class until 5:30-6. It is only 1pm right now. Time to turn up my stereo, belt out some tunes, do some major cleaning--inside and out.
feeling: determineddetermined
14 January 2011 @ 01:19 am
First of all--holy CRAP was I sore this morning! So I decided to do the shoulders & arms workout today... I bet I won't be able to lift my arms above my chest tomorrow T_T I'm still sore, especially whenever I get up and walk around after sitting. I think I probably need to stretch more... but I'm doing more ab exercises and cardio again tomorrow, so I think I'm just going to be in a perpetual state of soreness for the next few weeks T_T

Took my measurements today out of curiosity... apparently my waist is 2" bigger than what is preferred for models :P The model thing isn't what bothers me though--size charts are sizing me at being a 5/6 when I'm a size 4 T_T Everything is making me feel fat today. And when I think of how much further I have to go to finally get a beach-ready body, it just seems like a long, long journey... T_T

Anyhow, going to forget about things like that for now while I talk about more Jane Austen. Forgot to d/l Persuasion (1995) last night [oops] so I watched Northanger Abbey instead.

* Sense & Sensibility (2008) - very good adaptation! I realized how much I admire Elinor when watching it, and teared up whenever the emotions overtook her features. To have such a strong will and sense of filial duty... she's really admirable :] The scene at the end where she just cannot contain her feelings anymore was a tearjerker--wonderful ending :]

* Northanger Abbey (2007) - this is the only one I have watched that I have not read the novel for prior to viewing... and I liked it a lot! Large amount of obvious parody and humor, very enjoyable. I loved how sarcastic the lead male character was, and found Catherine very endearing. Very cute. ♥

Off to bed so I can wake up at 8 and torture my muscles/cardio system more... =_=;
feeling: soresore
13 January 2011 @ 01:12 am
Yeah, I really know how to live large... lol.

In order to focus on not eating past the caloric intake I'm aiming for (1200), and because I read Persuasion at work today, I decided to start watching all of the Austen adaptations I had downloaded last year but had never gotten around to watching. Since no one else around me except for me actually loves Jane Austen (or 19th century novels for that matter) as much as I do, I figured I'd write about what I'd seen so far here:

* Persuasion (2007) - didn't like it. At all. I understand that Anne Elliot is a sad little thing in the novel, but this portrayal of her is just over-emoting what I gathered from the novel. I feel that this is a common trend for the more recent adaptations--it's the exact reason I disliked the Keira Knightley version of Pride & Prejudice :P And they changed the ending!! I thought the ending was perfect and clever, and endearing, and.... arrrrrghhhh. Halfway through, I downloaded the 1995 version so that I would have a much more true-to-novel adaptation to watch tomorrow night. :P

* Emma (2009) - absolutely wonderful. :] It was nice seeing all of the plot elements fleshed out into the 4-hour series... I forgot what a bastard Frank Churchill was, but I think that's b/c I was rather partial to him in the Gwyneth Paltrow version (he was played by Ewan Mcgregor... hot!!) And I liked how everything ended up resolved in the end. The actress who played Emma was very good--sweetly infuriating haha, which fits the titular character to a tee. I think I still like the Gwyneth version better, but only because I'm very attached to it.

I still need to get through Sense & Sensibility (2008), Northanger Abbey (2007), and the older adaptation of Persuasion (1995)... of course capping it off with my absolute favorite, Pride & Prejudice (1995) ♥ How am I going to get through all of these before James gets back? @_@

Also, I woke up this morning and did a good hour or so of cardio & ab exercises!! Feeling sore but really happy I did it. Can't beat that feeling of accomplishment after exercise! :D Going to bed now so I can wake up at 8 and do some cardio/weight training. :]
feeling: sleepysleepy
12 January 2011 @ 01:18 am
holy shit, 9 years?!?

I'm off by a week, but yeah... hot damn. Back when having an LJ was SOOOOO EXCLUSIVE OMG and I was a forum addict... I was dating Mike (poor guy)... and in my senior year of high school. Fuck, that makes me feel SO OLD ARGGHHHHH hahaha @_@

Reading the entries is kind of jarring--I'm so cheerful and carefree sounding. o_o; And--childish, I guess? Or at least inexperienced, or green. Obviously things have changed for me in the past 9 years. I think I only write on this thing when I'm bored or when James isn't around. Maybe I should write on here more often? But I guess if I have shit to announce to the world it goes on facebook. I've seen most of my friends start and end their livejournals in the span of the time I've kept mine. I don't know why, but I've never wanted to stop writing completely or get rid of mine. You could say it is a semidetached attachment? Now I'm just being pretentious :P

Tried to exercise today and my knees started to get fucked up. Argh, how am I supposed to get in shape for the Philippines if I can't do any cardio?! And it's 2 effing degrees outside, I doubt it will warm up much by 8am when I plan to wake up and exercise again. Dragging myself across potentially dangerous icy ground in layers I'm just going to strip off at the elliptical sounds like a lot of work to be honest. But if I can get through it starting now, I should be on my way in the Philippines and totally golden by summer. STAY MOTIVATED!! 'Potential but no work ethic.' Apparently that's what my ex said about my piano skills back then, and that's probably applicable to everything in my life right now. PLEASE let me prove myself wrong with exercise this year >_<;

The other resolution I have for the new year is to speak conversational Mandarin by the end of the year.... 加油!!! Here's hoping I can get there--I'm really starting to enjoy the language, and not just for James' sake. :]

Speaking of Bear Feet, he is at the end of his interview trail and will be back for good (and saving me from more drives to and from DIA) on Saturday, just in time for the holiday dinner/cocktail party at my company. Yay ♥

Tried to put more rows on my pink scarf but I only put one in before I got caught up watching a cam version of Tangled that I found online~ haha. Still cried at the almost-end because I'm a complete sap.

1:17am--shit, I was going to go to bed an hour ago. Damn you, enjoyable Disney movie! o_o;
feeling: nostalgicnostalgic
17 December 2010 @ 01:34 am
I like you too much
After too little time
I hold back my heart's crazy rambling
The fear that I should overwhelm your smile
Frightens the spiders inside me

Oh this could be magic
After all, after all

You daren't define which has happened to us
Well, I've had a name for it for some time
You try to find what it is that you feel
I long to tell you so truly

Oh this could be trouble
After all, after all

And I say is it a dream like it was back then
Is it a dream like it was back in the stars
Could I be so wrong? Could I be so wrong?

Chew every word to prevent what I know
From slipping right out of my fingers
Out of control, I don't know where to go
'Cause you were my map when I found you

Oh this could get lonely
After all, after all

And I say is it a dream like it was back then
Is it a dream like it was back in the stars
Could I be so wrong? Could I be so wrong?

No one can say all the things that they feel
Without the risk of a failure
So keep in my cards close to my heart
All of you I loved from a distance

Oh this should be magic
After all, after all.

♥ You think the poetry in this (and my other 'heavy' songs) is 'unnecessary' but I just want you to know that this song makes me smile because it reminds me how much I love you! ^_^ Three more nights, I can't wait :)
feeling: happyhappy
listening to: Sondre Lerche - After All